Spontaneous Combustion
by ElizabethAlice
Summary: Where is my family? Torn apart, yet even they don’t know. Exploding from the inside out, but some may never see it. If only the answer was as simple as spontaneous combustion, but this explosion was anything but spontaneous" I don't own Twilight, SM does.
1. Chapter 1

I stood outside, they thought everyone was away hunting, they were, I had come back. She couldn't see me because of my shield, I had discovered it a few months ago, I could block even Alice if I wanted to. It had been going on for months, possibly years, I knew. I just didn't know what to do.

I listened to their grunts, I smelled their arousal, from _outside_. Jasper didn't know, I saw it in his eyes when he looked at Alice. Which of course made me wonder if they had been doing this forever. I heard a crash. Alice giggled. I struggled to keep control of myself.

"Oh, baby, it will be fixed before anyone gets back, just like all the other things we've broken over the years…" Edward murmured, I heard kissing noises next. My suspicions were more than confirmed. I silently ran towards the house I shared with that _thing_ that I once loved. Nessie was in La Push, and I was glad. I broke down, sobbing. I felt wetness in my eyes that would never fall. Edward used to kiss _me_ like that, but I guess it had been Alice all along. That was why he hadn't wanted me to be a vampire; he feared I would find out. Well, so called love, I did. I heard movement outside, close outside. I gained control of myself, I would be the person everyone expected me to be, even if it was all a lie. Like it or not, to the rest of the world that knew I still existed, Edward _was_ my life. I wouldn't prove them wrong. The beast moved on, I sniffed. It had just been a stray elk, trying to find its family. Where is my family? Torn apart, yet even they don't know. Exploding from the inside out, but some may never see it. If only the answer was as simple as spontaneous combustion, but this explosion was anything but spontaneous.

I loved them all, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Nessie, Jacob, Jasper. _Jasper_. If this had been going on nearing sixty years, as long as Alice and Jasper had been a part of the Cullen clan, then why did they drag this out so long? What was the point? I wonder if Alice knew before she even met Jasper that she would forever be with Edward. Then why did she want Jasper too? Was this relationship non-exclusive? Did they know they wouldn't get enough satisfaction from just each-other? Is Alice really that selfish? Under all the happiness and bounciness, and excitedness is Alice just a psychopath? Does she truly care nothing for those around her? How does Edward not see this? How does Jasper not know?

"What don't I know Bella?" I must have been speaking aloud, so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't hear him approach, maybe that elk was being followed. I quickly checked my shield. It was still up. "Why can't I feel your emotions Bella? What is happening? Is Alice alright?!" He took a deep unnecessary breath to calm himself.

"Alice is fine Jasper, go by the house and she'll probably be sitting on the couch with her laptop, shopping online, things she has done forever, well, as long as you've known her. She has not changed since her _change_ and it's possible that there was more than one reason she was in that asylum." I fidgeted, he deserved to know, I made sure that Alice couldn't 'see' us. Jasper grew angry.

"Well of course she hasn't changed, she's _mine_, she always will be, and she has been since the second she woke up. And what the HELL do you mean she was in that wretched asylum for _more that one reason?!"_

I gulped, stalling and practicing my human-acting, it still needed work. "Alice isn't yours Jasper, she never has been, but you sure as hell are hers." I paused. "Alice and Edward are together Jasper. I think that they always have been. Alice controls Edward, and made the 'non-exclusive' law so that she could fuck more people, mainly you. She always knew she would be with Edward, but she brought you along for God knows what reason. Alice doesn't care about your feelings, she cares about sex, I'm not even sure she cares for Edward. Her emotions never showed any signs of an affair because she 'loved' Edward before you met is so flipping protective of me because he can't do anything in their relationship, and he doesn't care, he gets to shove all his bitchy dominant crap on me. Have you noticed how they have been going off on their own more lately? '_Bonding?'_" Of course he had, they all had, but only I knew what for. "Alice is jealous of _me_. She thinks that I am getting all of Edward's attention, but all I get is his testosterone. She gets his love, and devotion, and she doesn't even want it. _I_ wanted it, now I know that will never happen, the psychopath wins, joy." I stole a glance at Jasper. He was curled on the couch he had sat on when he first came into this cottage. I opened my shield to feel what he was projecting. The grief, despair, self-loathing, and utter sadness coupled with my own made it hard enough to stumble over to the couch and sit next to him. We dry-sobbed for hours it seemed.

The family was at goat rocks, I had come home saying that a few elk would do me fine, I don't know why Jasper was here now. The family was still oblivious, never seeing what was right under their noses. I allowed Jasper to feel my emotions slowly, because I knew that he felt uncomfortable not feeling them, but I didn't want to startle him. Alice still wouldn't see us, and Edward, even if he was close enough, couldn't hear us. Our family would remain absent for a few days to come, I expected that Edward wouldn't even come home in that time, Nessie would stay for a few days more at Jacob's, she would need him soon, my eyes met Jasper's and I knew that Nessie would be hurt when she came home, this would no longer stay a secret.

Jasper and I stayed near the woods, my shield always up. I had explained to him that shortly after I had begun to open my shield to Edward I discovered many other things, like the fact that it could block anything, any power and any physical attack, no one found out of course, because around this same time I realized that I could also use any other powers within my shield, if I concentrated hard enough. Naturally, because I loved Edward I shielded him first. Soon I wanted to tell him, but not just tell him, show him. So I concentrated on opening my mind. I then saw right into his mind. I saw him running his fingers through dark hair and smiled, I thought he was thinking of me. But all too soon the dark hair stopped, just a few inches from_ my_ head. I suddenly realized how short _I_ was. _I_ turned around. Alice looked back at me, she then kissed me passionately, throwing her tongue into it, Edward loved it, but didn't fight for dominance, he knew it was unattainable. _At least my Alice isn't._ He had then thought. She had then kissed her way up to his ear, and, nibbling on it, told him to do things he told me to do, in bed, when we were alone, just us, the married couple. I had dry-sobbed for hours.

When I finished Jasper was doing that exact thing. We held each other in an embrace as we cried at the loss of our loves.

A/N: Okay, so I know that this is a really common story line, Alice an Edward cheating on each other, Jasper and Bella getting together, blah blah blah, happiness. Well if you realize, this one DOES make a bit more sense, in all the other ones Edward and Alice just randomly fell for each other, stupid, if they have been together for years, then why do they have an affair, AFTER Edward meets Bella? I mean really? Anyway, I was extremely bored and needed to write _something_ and this was on my mind. I may never do anything else with this story, but yeah, its something for you while I put off typing the next chapter of Dead Horse. Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: You can all thank Bending Fate for this chapter, her review convinced me to share this with you!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight I would not be in school, I would not be sitting at a crappy old fail computer, and I would not be here at all, I would be in a five-star hotel in Rome or something, but I am not, because I am just a teenager who has no money, yay.**

JPOV:

I held onto her as I sobbed. I clung to the only thing that wouldn't physically break no matter how hard I squeezed, the only person besides myself that couldn't be hurt emotionally any more than she was now, the only thing that I couldn't ruin. No Bella and I dry-sobbed for hours, gasping for un-needed air, wishing for comfort that was unattainable.

I wish I could say I was numb, as many people claim to be when they lose their loves, but no, I felt it all. Being bitten by seven newborns at once in all different places would be a welcome relief if I could avoid _this_. The three days I spent being burned alive? I would take a thousand of those if I could avoid _this_. I was, however, numb to one thing, my power. For the first time in this existence, I felt no emotions; I didn't even have a grasp on whether it was there or not. I felt empty, no, I felt worse than empty, I feel… normal. A normal human experiencing the worst pain in the history of pain.

But then, I didn't have the comforts of being human either. If I were human I would feel the tears streaming down my face, a constant tribute to the pain I felt. A tangible knowledge of its presence. If I were human I could cry myself to sleep in an hour or two, a peaceful escape, a time for dreams, dreams where reality was a dream. A place where I could act like nothing had happened, where love still meant something.

The only thing I was glad about now was Bella, she had discovered this. After nearly half of my existence I find that it was a lie, every second. No, the "I want you" statements were true, but the meaning behind them meant nothing. Nothing. Every I love you, every wave of affection was manufactured; a lie. I had always thought it had something to do with her life as a human in the asylum. It wasn't like the tenor of her feelings ever changed, no; it was the same, all the same intricately woven lie.

But Bella didn't say anything. Even though I couldn't feel with my gift I still could read her face like a 72 size font book. She hurt too, all of her, time hadn't healed her yet. It possibly never will; change is so huge for a vampire, we may never bounce back. I knew from my lack of control that I was projecting onto Bella, but she didn't say anything, and I knew she could block it all again.

But, as selfish as it was, I was happy that she hurt the same I did. It made me feel less alone. I felt like a lost kid in a giant mall, wide-eyed and frightened. Surrounded by hundreds of giants, all looking to step on me. But Bella was the bench to see above the masses. Bella was the kind lady to stop and squat next to me, to smile and take my hand; to tell me it was okay. The woman who could hand me over to my mother safe and sound.

Yet at the same time Bella was an equal. A fellow child on the streets who had lived the same things I had. Or a best friend who understood and ignored their pain to let me cry on their shoulder.

The hours passed. I heard the wind pound on the thin roof. Soon a dripping sound was echoing through the house. Bella sat up, and I couldn't help myself, I whimpered. Me the civil war major, who had lived through it all, _whimpered_. Bella kissed my cheek softly and at vampire speed got buckets under all the impending leaks, it's Forks, it rained a lot. Still when she was back on the couch 1.453 seconds later, I relaxed. Even less than two seconds had killed me.

As we sobbed together I lost any track of time. I remember the sun sinking; the sparkle of her un-scarred skin. I remember watching the little rainbows as they were thrown around the room as the soft light touched her skin. I remember the moon. The big, glowing orb shining through the huge bay window; it seemed to float atop the small pond outside, beautiful and simple. I remember the faint glow of the starlight as it seeped across her skin. The glistening of the tears in her eyes that could never fall. I remember the burst of sun across her as it burst forth from the east. Reds, yellows, and oranges; a fire dancing off her skin; throwing shadows and pictures on the walls. Her dark brown hair showed its red tint. Her hair rolled in waves as she twisted her head to look me in the eye. She blinked, shocked.

"Beautiful," she murmured. Any other time I would have laughed. Me? Beautiful? Yeah right. With scars, and a horrifying story to go with every one of them. No, I was not beautiful. But she was. I was entranced by her eyes, golden and glorious, she seemed lost in mine, though I had no reason why, I still had no grip on my power and if it wasn't for Bella I would have broken a wall… or 5 in frustration. I stared in awe, why had I never seen her before. I knew the answer, I had though _she_ was mine. _She_ had blinded me to all else, on purpose.

Our trance was broken by a high pitched squeal that would have been nearly silent to human ears. I tensed and stood in front of Bella, guarding my only hope, my only reason for living.

"No, Jake stop!" A girl's voice giggled as the door burst open. A growl immediately left my lips, a 5-year-old sized child stared up at me with frightened eyes. Jacob Black was instantly in front of her crouched low and emitting a growl of his own. I felt a hand on my back and turned to the newly shining eyes of Bella. As I saw her I realized what I had done. I had growled at Renesmee, the most glorious and adorable child to walk the earth. And I had _growled_ at her. I sank onto the couch with my head in my hands. I was useless, a monster, a horrifying, niece-frightening monster.

I felt a small hand pushing on my forehead. I looked up and watched in amazement as Nessie climbed up on my lap. She laid her hand on my face again, this time speaking to me.

She replayed the scene except from her point of view, even without my gift I could feel that forgiveness was radiating from the picture. I smiled at Nessie as she removed her hand.

"Thank you, I am so sorry." She nodded and showed me something else.

Edward stood next to Bella, his arm around her waist, and I swallowed back another growl. They were standing in the living room. Emmett was playing a videogame in the background and Nessie was tapping across the hardwood floors in the high heels Alice had just bought her. Alice stood against the wall smiling at the monster she was creating. An overall happiness emanated from the situation, but curiosity rolled off of Edward's figure in waves.

"Your Father is gone, I don't know when he will be back," I squeezed Bella's hand as I watched her wince. Nessie frowned, then shrugged and showed me the same scene, except this time the curiosity came from Alice's form.

I looked at Bella, pleading. "She asked about A-A-A" I collapsed again as Bella took her daughter from my lap. I listened to Bella's beautiful voice as she explained to her child in ways that only a mother could.

"Alice is on an extended shopping trip… No you wouldn't want to come anyway," Bella whispered the next part. "It's for big girl stuff… Hey! I can't tell you if it's for your present… Nope. I have no clue what she's getting you… I can neither confirm nor deny if it is the newest line of go-jo-gro- however you say that name- 's kids designs… You know you're going to ruin any chance of surprise you have at all… No! Now, I think someone has pre-algebra to work on… Nope you are going." Bella picked Nessie up off the couch and set her on the floor.

"Awww! But mom! Do I _have_ to?" Nessie whined.

"I will cook your dinner if you don't!" Nessie grimaced, she liked blood a lot better than human food, and went to her room to work on her online course.

Bella sank next to me, leaning on my shoulder. I rested my head on top of hers. "What are we going to do? I can't even say h-his name," she stuttered. Jacob was still glaring angrily at me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jacob whisper-shouted. If I could have I would have burst into tears. But instead I shared a look with Bella. She nodded and I took a deep breath.

"A-A-Alice," I spat the word, angered by its defiance of correctly leaving my lips. "and Edward" A low growl came from me as I whispered his name, "Are together, they have been, but until now, none of us knew, if not for Bella's gift, we never would have known." My strength completely depleted; I collapsed onto Bella's lap. I felt her body heave with dry sobs. I saw the anger in his eyes and watched him shake, then he took a deep breath and the compassion and sorrow were obvious in his eyes. Yet I still felt nothing. I realized I must not have been projecting while angry, as Nessie seemed fine and so had Bella, but now Jake and Bella's shoulders visibly slumped. Jake sat down next to Bella and threw his arm around her shoulder.

"I am sorry that I am projecting, but I can't feel my power, I can't feel any of you, Bella, feel free to shield yourselves. I know you aren't shielding because you know it makes me uncomfortable, but I can't feel any of your emotions." Their shoulders lifted almost instantly. I felt better knowing that I wasn't causing anymore pain than usual.

Feeling better Jake attempted to comfort Bella. "Aw Bells…" He stopped as he realized nothing he could say would really help. "So a divorce is in order then?" Jacob said to me, trying to lighten the mood.

"Eventually, but remember, you are the third person other than them that knows, they don't even know we know." I replied.

"And what would a divorce do to Nessie? She is mature enough to understand what is happening, but not enough to understand why. Nessie loves her f-father, I can't take her away from that, I know I missed my father growing up, but then again I really don't want her anywhere near him." Bella interjected. She raked her fingers through my hair and I had to consciously stop myself from letting my eyes roll back into my head. The sensation was amazing. It was something Alice would never do, if she was touching me, it was when we had no clothes on, and then we kissed occasionally, but only in public.

I was immediately grateful that I kept my eyes alert though because in that moment Bella looked down at me and our eyes met. I saw the love and compassion and sorrow and confusion, but I longed to feel it. Almost as if my body heard me I woke up. I felt what I was projecting, and although sorrow was in there, well I was glad they didn't feel it. Apparently Bella's hands had more effect on me than I thought possible. I quickly gathered them up and stored them in the part of my brain that had been empty for nearly 24 hours now. I instantly felt better.

Feeling the intrusion stop Bella lifted her shield. "Can you feel me?" She asked. I smiled and nodded. She smiled as well and continued massaging my head.

"Look Bella, we'll all be there for Nessie, just as much as we'll be there for each other. I was actually starting to like Edward, but I guess that we weren't meant to be on the same side after all. And I know that it will be hard, but I can't stand the thought of him being around her." Jake's hands began to shake and a nearly silent growl came from his chest, I felt anger, protectiveness, and love all coming from him. I agreed with his statements though. I sent him a wave of calm and he nodded gratefully in my direction.

I grabbed my cell phone and hit speed dial nine. It rang exactly 3 times before a welcoming voice picked up.

"Hello, you have reached Jonathan Whitlock's office, how may I help you?"

"Hello Teresa, if I may I would like to speak to John immediately." I let a bit of urgency flood my tone, I don't know how long I'll be able to keep up the façade before I collapsed again, and I wanted to get this over with.

"Oh! Jasper! Of course, you may talk to him right away!" I heard muffled yelling and then the line switched, they didn't play hold music for me.

"Jasper m'boy! What can I help you with this fine day?" I smiled and visibly relaxed, I had always felt as if John was a second father to me. That is probably because he is my great-great-great-great nephew. It took a few years of research and then some of Carlisle's medical access but I found him. If you look at the family tree you can find me, right there next to his father, William. I was overjoyed when I found that the name was still alive, I had always enjoyed my last name. But, to further the excitement, it turns out that John can make pristine illegal documents, a necessary thing when you never age.

Replaying his warm, soothing tone I took a deep breath and replied. "John, I need two sets of divorce papers."

"Who is it? Oh! It isn't those newly weds is it? Edward has been searching for so long…" I held back a dark laugh as I answered my well informed 'nephew'.

"Well, it turns out that Edward found someone long ago, he just decided to keep it a secret from all of us that he was sleeping with _my wife_."

"Those bastards!" John gasped. Bella and Jacob snickered at the sincerity of his tone. "How could they? When do you need them?"

"I would like them as soon as you can get them please,"

"Okay, I will work on them and then call you. First I will need names, birth dates…" I gave him all the information he asked for easily, leaning back against the couch with my arm thrown across the back of it. Bella relaxed as well sensing that I was okay. She leaned back onto my arm and my limb fell from its high perch as it came to rest on her gentle shoulders. She lay her head against my scarred shoulder and hummed contentedly. I smiled and bent my head down to breathe her glorious scent. In this position I could happily stay forever.

**A/N: Okay, so I almost put a cliffy in here but then again, I have no clue when, or if I will post more on this story so here you got a little bit more, remember, that one review convinced me to re-post, they have a ton of power, so if you could review, I would greatly enjoy it :)**


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